Tag: Honouring old parents

Yesterday, I was privileged once again to take the pulpit during my local church’s Sabbath service. It was the global #EndItNow Emphasis Sabbath, an annual moment when Adventist congregations worldwide confront the scourge of abuse in its many forms. This year, the spotlight fell on a group often forgotten until their frailty becomes unavoidable; the elderly. Stewarded by women’s ministries across the globe, it was a call not just to awareness, but to repentance and action.

The memory text came from 𝐄𝐱𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐬 𝟐𝟎:𝟏𝟐 “Honor your father and your mother”, and the sermon was titled “𝐀𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲: 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.”Jesus Himself reinforced this command in 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝟕:𝟓–𝟏𝟑 , when He rebuked the Pharisees for upholding tradition as an excuse to abandon their parents. By extension, He rebuked every generation tempted to treat the old as burdens instead of blessings.

I must acknowledge that this sermon was not my own original creation. Like countless other Adventist preachers yesterday, I paraphrased the wisdom penned in 2007 by two remarkable women leaders: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫-𝐃𝐚𝐰𝐧 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥, now departed, and 𝐑𝐚𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬, still faithfully serving. Their foresight then has become, in our time, an urgent intervention. For this I am profoundly grateful.

In preparing to preach, I could not escape a deep, uncomfortable reflection: how have I treated the elderly entrusted to my life? There are moments I am proud of, times I have protected, helped, or simply listened. But honesty compels me to admit there are also moments of neglect.

There have been days when I delayed returning calls from my mother, father, or uncle, even when I knew they reached out simply to connect. I have older friends who have accompanied me faithfully in my career and spiritual journey, yet more often than not it is they who initiate the call, not me. On the surface these lapses may seem small, but they are not. To ignore the communication of elders is to inflict emotional neglect. To immerse myself in a full day of church activity while failing to return an uncle’s repeated calls is, in its own way, a form of spiritual neglect. May God’s grace suffice where I have fallen short.

What Elder Abuse Really Looks Like? The 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐎𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 defines elder abuse as any act or failure to act appropriately within a relationship of trust that causes harm or distress to an older person. Too often, we imagine only physical violence, but abuse takes many subtler forms. It can be financial exploitation, when resources meant for care are siphoned away. It can be emotional neglect, when phone calls are ignored and their voices are silenced. It can be social abandonment, when we treat them as invisible once they no longer provide materially. It can even be spiritual abuse, when religion is used as an excuse to deny help, like a child who claims all their income was “given to God” and therefore their parents must go without food or medicine.

Abuse also shows up in cultural attitudes. Too often the elderly are treated as irrelevant, boring, or a nuisance. Yet they are bearers of memory, wisdom, and dignity. They deserve conversation, companionship, and the assurance that their lives still matter beyond what they once owned or provided.

I have seen grandchildren unmoved by the poverty of grandparents who once raised them when their own parents were busy. I have heard young people boast that ensuring their parents live decently is “not their responsibility.” This is more than ingratitude; it is disobedience to the command to honor one’s parents.

Yet preventing elder abuse does not require monumental gestures. It begins with simple, deliberate acts: returning a call, asking about their youth, listening without rushing, or visiting not to showcase achievements but simply to share presence. Even the act of checking in on a friend’s parents, especially when distance keeps their child who’s one’s friend away, can warm an elder’s heart and affirm that their child has built meaningful relationships. During festive seasons, rather than reducing visits to mere displays of success, we can choose instead to spend quality time, characterized by real conversation and genuine attention.

For communities, congregations, and workplaces, intentional recognition also makes a difference. Imagine dedicating a day each year to celebrate the elderly, inviting them to lead an activity with the support of younger members, and creating intergenerational spaces where they are not just present but central. Such practices are simple but deeply restorative.

For Christians, honoring the elderly is not a suggestion; it is a command. 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝟏𝟗:𝟑𝟐 is unequivocal: “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God.”To dishonor the old is, ultimately, to dishonor God Himself. The chilling story of the prophet Elisha in 𝟐 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝟐:𝟐𝟑–𝟐𝟓 reminds us that when the young mock or mistreat the old, heaven itself may intervene. God defends the elderly even against the arrogance of youth.

And for those who do not share this faith, the truth remains: age beckons us all. If we do not die young, we too will grow old. The scripts we write today in how we treat the elderly will one day be replayed by our children when they watch us grow frail.

Let me end this reflection to do what I failed to do earlier last week which is returning the calls of my uncle who’s in his late seventies, had phoned me three times last week and once today already. I haven’t returned his calls. Often, he just wants to know how I am. That is his way of showing love. My silence denies him that joy. That is my neglect, and I must repent of it.

Friends, let us pause and ask ourselves: Whose call or presence have we ignored? Whose dignity have we overlooked? Whose wisdom have we silenced? Old age is not a burden to be managed, but a crown of experience to be honored.

May we not wait until it is too late to learn this truth.